In a moment of inspiration, have you thought of a great idea for getting back together with your ex? You have thought long and hard and you know exactly what you need to do to win your ex back. It all makes sense to you. You have the perfect plan and you can see it all unfolding before you. Before you follow through with this plan, understand that most of us come to the same conclusion and think of the same solutions for how to get back together with our ex after a breakup. Chances are that you're not as clever and unique as you might think.
Once you're done reading over these common solutions to the problem of how to get back together with your ex, understand that your thoughts are very typical. Coming to the same conclusion as the rest of us is completely normal. In spite of this, also understand that rebuilding your relationship with the one you love isn't out of the question. This emotionally charged state that you are in is very normal and it is something that you must go through in order to heal and become whole again. It is one step in the pathway to rebuilding your life and getting to the place where you need to be when that chance to rekindle the love in your relationship comes to you. You will get that chance but first you must go through this emotional hell.
First, most of us come to the conclusion that the best way to get back together with our ex is to try talking things through. This is the typical advice given to us by therapists and counselors. We are encouraged to sit down and talk about the problems in the relationship. We can then understand each other and come to an understanding. We can solve the problems and get back together.
The only issue that you might run into with this plan is that your ex has no interest in getting back together. They ended the relationship. That is how they resolved the conflict. They just gave up and decided to move on. Without a desire to be with you or an emotional tie to you and your relationship, talking will only make matters worse. Your ex may agree to meet with you and discuss when went wrong in your relationship but their goal will only be to make you see that the relationship is over. They might feel guilty for leaving you and allow you to speak your mind but you're never going to be able to convince your ex to fall in love with you again. Logic has no place in matters of the heart.
Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.
Again, while our ex might be proud of us for making some positive changes in our life, these changes aren't going to bring our ex back. Your ex lacks the emotional desire to be with us. As a matter of fact, if your ex did want to be with you they would come back even if you didn't make any changes in your life. There are many couples that get back together in spite of terrible circumstances and problems. It is passion, desire and attraction that brings them back together and not changes that one partner made in their life. Changing or promising to change will not bring about that passion and desire, sad to say.
Finally, you might come to the conclusion that if you were simply perfect then your ex wouldn't be able to help themselves and they would be moved to take you back. By simply being perfect in every way, you could charm the socks off of your ex and everybody would agree that you were the perfect match for them. You would write wonderful poetry or send them gifts as a way of apologizing for the past. You would show them how much you love them and your ex would be so moved by your display of devotion that you would break down that wall standing between the two of you and you'd live happily ever after.
While this sort of plan always works in the movies, life isn't a movie. This plan almost always backfires and it very well might make your ex angry. Your ex might look at your continued contact as harassment and you very well could wind up with a restraining order to deal with for your trouble. Your ex will probably think that you've gone a little crazy, if nothing else, and they will grow even more distant. Save these kinds of romantic gestures for after you have gotten back together. They will be appreciated much more then and help solidify your relationship once your ex is in love with you again.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Allow some time to pass and let your ex find out what life is like without you in it. Let your ex's attitude towards you change as the days pass and time does its healing work. Soon the bad things will be forgotten and only the pleasant memories will remain. You will get that second chance that you have been hoping for but it's not going to come because of any amount of talking, changing or emotional bribery on your part. Be patient with your ex. You will find that your ex will suddenly have a change of heart one day and your opportunity to get back together will present itself all on its own. If you truly love your ex then you will give them the space that they need to work through their feelings while loving them from afar.
Once you're done reading over these common solutions to the problem of how to get back together with your ex, understand that your thoughts are very typical. Coming to the same conclusion as the rest of us is completely normal. In spite of this, also understand that rebuilding your relationship with the one you love isn't out of the question. This emotionally charged state that you are in is very normal and it is something that you must go through in order to heal and become whole again. It is one step in the pathway to rebuilding your life and getting to the place where you need to be when that chance to rekindle the love in your relationship comes to you. You will get that chance but first you must go through this emotional hell.
First, most of us come to the conclusion that the best way to get back together with our ex is to try talking things through. This is the typical advice given to us by therapists and counselors. We are encouraged to sit down and talk about the problems in the relationship. We can then understand each other and come to an understanding. We can solve the problems and get back together.
The only issue that you might run into with this plan is that your ex has no interest in getting back together. They ended the relationship. That is how they resolved the conflict. They just gave up and decided to move on. Without a desire to be with you or an emotional tie to you and your relationship, talking will only make matters worse. Your ex may agree to meet with you and discuss when went wrong in your relationship but their goal will only be to make you see that the relationship is over. They might feel guilty for leaving you and allow you to speak your mind but you're never going to be able to convince your ex to fall in love with you again. Logic has no place in matters of the heart.
Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.
Again, while our ex might be proud of us for making some positive changes in our life, these changes aren't going to bring our ex back. Your ex lacks the emotional desire to be with us. As a matter of fact, if your ex did want to be with you they would come back even if you didn't make any changes in your life. There are many couples that get back together in spite of terrible circumstances and problems. It is passion, desire and attraction that brings them back together and not changes that one partner made in their life. Changing or promising to change will not bring about that passion and desire, sad to say.
Finally, you might come to the conclusion that if you were simply perfect then your ex wouldn't be able to help themselves and they would be moved to take you back. By simply being perfect in every way, you could charm the socks off of your ex and everybody would agree that you were the perfect match for them. You would write wonderful poetry or send them gifts as a way of apologizing for the past. You would show them how much you love them and your ex would be so moved by your display of devotion that you would break down that wall standing between the two of you and you'd live happily ever after.
While this sort of plan always works in the movies, life isn't a movie. This plan almost always backfires and it very well might make your ex angry. Your ex might look at your continued contact as harassment and you very well could wind up with a restraining order to deal with for your trouble. Your ex will probably think that you've gone a little crazy, if nothing else, and they will grow even more distant. Save these kinds of romantic gestures for after you have gotten back together. They will be appreciated much more then and help solidify your relationship once your ex is in love with you again.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Allow some time to pass and let your ex find out what life is like without you in it. Let your ex's attitude towards you change as the days pass and time does its healing work. Soon the bad things will be forgotten and only the pleasant memories will remain. You will get that second chance that you have been hoping for but it's not going to come because of any amount of talking, changing or emotional bribery on your part. Be patient with your ex. You will find that your ex will suddenly have a change of heart one day and your opportunity to get back together will present itself all on its own. If you truly love your ex then you will give them the space that they need to work through their feelings while loving them from afar.
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Visit http://text-your-ex-back.highclassproducts.org/ to learn more about methods proven to help you to win your love back. Learn why your ex left and what you can do to bring them back.
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